Aiden's journal

Not much is happening around here, well, except for the arguing but i wont go into that because we all know a certain someone who will read this.

I'm finishing up at work soon and am starting to feel at a complete loss as to where life will take me from here. Now that both pubs are sold and will soon no longer be mine, it feels as if all i have ever worked for has now gone. i started both businesses, and now it's like giving a piece of myself away to a complete stranger. And with Ren still working there, i'm not sure if that is really such a good thing. If this guy ruins all my hard work then Ren is going to tell me all about it, and i don't know if i could handle that.

I think selling up is final closure on my past. Liz and i started them, and i think by selling them off it is a final goodbye to Liz. Don;t get me wrong Ren, i love you, and you know that. but Liz and i were together for a very long time, and remain good friends even if i don't love her like i once did. I think what i am trying to say is that This is just hard for me to let go. (Not of Liz but of what i have worked my arse off for years for)

I was going to join the police force, but with the change of plans and our plan to move to America, i don't think that will be happening. And by the time we get back i will probably be too old to do it anyway. Was a nice dream though. Not that i don't want to go to America, before Ren and i got together i was seriously contemplating moving to New York and opening a bar with a friend of mine. So America is something i have always wanted to do. I just hope that Ren wants to go for all the right reasons. She has a good head on her shoulders, but sometimes i think that she does things on impulse. She isn't the type of girl to sit and plan something, she is very spur of the moment. But that is something that i love about her. i never know where life is taking me, or what we are up to when i am around her. She makes me feel young again!

May seems to be creeping up on us fast. I am scared about being a father, but at the same time i am also really very excited. I love touching Ren's belly and talking to my unborn child, feeling her kick. (as much s Ren complains about it i have a feeling she loves it) I can't wait to hold my daughter in my arms for the first time. To see what she looks like. I hope she looks like her mother and not me because i would pitty the child other wise. Don't get me wrong, i adore Elijah and Tanzi and hope that one day they will want to call me Dad because i would be honored to be their father. and i hope that i will not treat this baby any different then i do Elijah and Tanzi. i don't think i will. i love those 2 little humans. Elijah is the funniest little guy i have ever met. and although he can get a beat overwhelming at times, i am sure all almost 3 year olds are like that. and Tanzi is a complete little princess.If my daughter is anything like her i will be pleased. She is a complete breath of fresh air. if i have had a hard day at work, i walk inside and TJ just seems to brighten the room. She is a lot like her mother in that sense. that just a smile or a hug can turn a terrible day into a perfect day. I think i am going to have to sit on the front porch with a shotgun by the time she is old enough to date.

Right now Ren is nagging me to get off the computer so i can either go get something for dinner or so she can order something.

Sorry this was such a long entry.

So thanks to Ren and the evil bethanie for setting this up for me.

I doubt that in a week i will even remember that i have this thing.

Will update properly later.